A brain walks into bar
A brain walks into bar and says "can i have a pint of beer please..?"
The barman looks at him and replies "Sorry i can not serve you".
"Why not?" asks the brain.
"Because you are already out of your head..."
I love you very much
You know I love you very much, when you feel pain I feel pain, when you play I play and you smile
I laugh and you jump from window and I still laugh.
Sorry I can't marry You
Boy: Sorry I can't marry You.
My family is not agreed.
Girl in rage: Who is in your family?
Boy: My wife and 2 kids.
Why we drink water
Sardar 1: Why we drink water?
Sardar 2: I don't know.
Sardar 1: Silly person we drink water because we can't eat it.
10 things in golf that sound dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
Number One Sport
A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.
The guide told her, "This is our number one sport."
The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?"
"No", the guide replied, "revolting is our number two sport".
The guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up 10 glasses and start filling them up with beer.
So the bartender starts filling the glasses up with beer, and the man is right behind him drinking them
straight down. The bartender says, hay buddy whats your hurry? The man says if you had what I have you
would do the same thing. The bartender backs up and says what do you have. The man says about 75 cents!
There is a dangerous virus going around. It is called WORK.
If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else, via email or any other means,
DO NOT TOUCH IT! This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put on your jacket, take two good friends and go straight
to the nearest pub. Order the antidote known as BEER. Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been
completely eliminated from your system.
Forward this warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you realize that you do not have 5 friends,
this means that you are already infected and that WORK already controls your life.
And remember, this virus is deadly!
How to order a beer
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again.
Finally the bartender asks why he orders a beer and after drinking it he looks into his pocket. The man
responded "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then I'll go home".
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
A grasshopper walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a tall,
frothy mug and says "You know... we have a drink named after you." To which the grasshopper replies,
"You have a drink named Bob?"