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Scientists say that 2 beers a day will make you live longer - So just think what beer jokes can do for you.
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally the bartender asks why he orders a beer and after drinking it he looks into his pocket. The man responded "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then I'll go home".

A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

A grasshopper walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and says "You know... we have a drink named after you." To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Bob?"
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I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...


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